Love thy neighbour that looks like thyself.
Two thoughts that came to mind reading this.
1. I (emphasis on I) thought that Ukraine was a third-world country! Finding out that first-worlders are calling it civilised was a bit of a surprise. But that feeds into what you are saying that we assume at different levels that being invaded is something that only third-world countries invite, but we fully accept that first-world countries can happily invade whoever they want, which is an even worse thing to collectively think!
(the terms "third-world" and "first-world" are probably just as derogatory as "uncivilised" and "civilised" but I couldn't immediately think of better alternatives.)
2. I do like what you say that "people will choose themselves" as they rightly should. When everyone chooses themselves from a position of power, they don't need to put down anyone else. In fact, when you look around, you'll see that the really powerful don't have any need to prove that they have power.
I realise that you didn't literally mean that people choose themselves individually in this context but choose people who look like themselves. The problem as it stands is who you (and others) see as not yourselves (and themselves). If you think "ooh, a person who looks like me because of their skin and facial features", you're going to choose less people who are like you than say if you think "ooh, a person who looks like me because they walk on two legs and are humanoid".
A potent question to pose to people in this time is, "Are you someone who chooses to be sympathetic and helpful to other people based on their pigmentation, nationality, or other arbitrary trait, or would it be based on the fact that they are human or from Earth, just like you?"